It’s never what’s happening that determines your well-being and happiness - it’s always your relationship to what’s happening.

hands in heart shape at sunrise


Heart Fluency makes an unconditionally healing relationship obvious and embodied.

When we are triggered we so often either react and regret it, or pop up into our heads and spin which only makes things worse. We can get overwhelmed and traumatized in an instant. What do we do?

The Problem

I Stop, Drop and Open reflexively now. It’s one movement that meets all my triggers – Training Participant

Trauma and deep emotional wounds need to be held unconditionally to unwind. If there’s a conditional someone holding them, we just get overwhelmed. 

Oftentimes when we are mindful, there is a sense of someone being mindful of their experience. We might feel “MY mindfulness needs to be stronger.”

But we already have something unconditional and readily available in our nature. What is that?

We all have a fundamental receptivity to our experience we know as our awareness. If I’m going to have surgery I’ll receive anesthesia so I won’t be receptive to (or aware of) my experience. 

Awareness is like the sky that holds and receives the clouds. It is unconditionally:

  • Spacious, Open & Unstuck
  • Still, Uncharged & Peaceful
  • Patient & Balanced 
  • Accepting & Allowing 

You already have everything you need, it’s just a matter of aligning and allowing

The sky is not stained, harmed or pushed around by any cloud. It is the space through which they pass, and out of which they arise.

When a cloud or storm as intense as trauma arises it needs the sky to hold it just as it is to have the space and trust to relax and unwind.

But how do we harness the sky? Read on…

The Solution: Heart Fluency’s 3 Step Practice

The Heart Fluency practice makes an unconditionally healing relationship obvious and embodied by directly feeling fundamental and unlimited nourishing qualities you already have. 

There are three simple steps – Stop, Drop & Open

1. Stop

With Heart Fluency’s practice we first Stop and recognize that we’re triggered. Now we’re not lost in the triggered state or identified with it, we are observing it. We have a mindful orientation.

You’ve got feel it to heal it, but it’s how you feel it that matters

2. Drop

Next we Drop our attention out of any stories or concepts into the direct aliveness of how this state is reflected in our hearts in the form of sensations. 

  • Heavy or light, hard or soft
  • Cool or warm
  • Flowing, pulsing, tingling, stabbing, expanding or contracting 

Sensations are always here and now, not there and then. They are direct and non-conceptual. They are obvious. We can feel them get more intense and then relax. Flow and then pause. They communicate our authentic truth.

But we do something else as well…

Healing Orientation – Content AND Context

With Heart Fluency we take the mindful orientation a key step forward. When we Drop in we not only feel the sensations of the experience (the Content) – we also feel the more subtle, but quite obvious sensations of the qualities of the awareness receiving that experience (the context). This is the Healing Orientation.

It is as if the Dalai Lama himself were holding our wounds and our joys

When invited to acknowledge the qualities of awareness, we can feel in our bodies a sense of unstuckness, spaciousness, lack of charge, acceptance, patience and balance. We are feeling our skylike nature holding the experience, and we are feeling the experience itself. 

Now it is as if the Dalai Lama himself were holding our wounds and our joys. There’s no limited “me” trying to get it right. All of those unlimited and unconditional capacities can meet whatever stuck energy needs to be released in a gentle, highly nourished manner. 

We can feel this balance between content and context in our bodies almost like learning to ride a bike. Once you know, you know. 

3. Open

Lastly, after we’ve touched in with the Healing Orientation for a few moments at our heart space, we Open and allow the attention to move wherever it’s drawn. 

It may stay in the heart area or move to our belly, diaphragm, neck, head or any other place. We just allow a choiceless, agendaless, organic process to unfold. 

A natural journey of unwinding  and integration proceeds until we move into resolution 

Images and thoughts might arise and we just let them pass through without hooking on, but noticing if there is a shift in sensation due to their passing. Some sense of insight or guidance might come through and likewise, we allow the flow to continue trusting that whatever is relevant will integrate. 

The intensity might spike when experience is held in this open, nourished way, but because we are profoundly resourced, we stay stable. 

Sometimes, though, we are tired and depleted, or the intensity is stronger than our neural resilience.  If it feels like it is too much, then the Emotional Crisis Toolkit can support you.  

Moving through moments of intensity and relaxation, a natural journey of unwinding  and integration proceeds until we move into resolution which is felt as profound relief. 

This can all happen in a few moments, with your eyes closed or open, sitting, walking or driving your car. Alternatively, the Heart Fluency practice can be used as the basis of a meditation practice.  

Please watch the Heart Fluency & Healing Orientation Explained video above. Connect for a consultation to see how you can put Heart Fluency to use for yourself and your clients. 

The Goal